I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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