Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
