seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
