look no pants
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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