Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have fence marks all over my body
The power of my boobs compel you
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
why is half of my head shaved?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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