Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
