nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
