I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Couch. On fire.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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