there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
