I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
