You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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