you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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