So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we're so committed to being not committed
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
