Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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