I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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