You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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