if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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