Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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