i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
