I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
