I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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