You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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