i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
