do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
