why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
