Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
