Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
