I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
