she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
