Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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