I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
