You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
