Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
