I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
