i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
