i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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