I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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