let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
