dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
