Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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