I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
