First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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