you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
