OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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