I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
