You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
