Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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