I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
