Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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