kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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