you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
