I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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